What brings people together isn’t always understood, but I’m starting to believe that when we’re touched deeply, there is a hook of some sort, even if we can’t label it. It’s something we feel but can’t always put into words.

What keeps us together, returning, or tied to each other may be something unique, confusing, private and unexplainable. The incentive to hold on can change, even on a whim. It’s this way with relationships of any kind.

It’s this way with blogs, forums, and anywhere people interact on the Internet. We’re hooking up with each other, but how we do it is all over the place. We’re even cruel, if that gets the job done.

How to Blog

All the advice you read about how to be a blogger conflicts. I can’t remember a time when I ever bought into any of it. This particular Blog reflects me as a business owner, consultant and professional person. It also let’s readers sit on my deck, relaxed and ready for off-topic stories. I always provide them here, mixed with something useful.

I sometimes wonder why people stop by. Have I hooked you somehow? Why do you return? Did I tick you off? Was something I said important and what I find most fascinating of all, did I connect in a way you can’t even understand yourself?

My posts are all over the place. Many are like this one. They come flying out of nowhere and you wonder what I’ve been smoking. I once told someone that though dead tired, I still had to write in my Blog. For him, it is work to post in his Blog because he targets clients. I target everybody, and that’s a huge risk.

When I need to express myself, I write because I have great trouble with verbalizing what’s in my heart and mind. Whenever I try, I convey big ideas at the level of a third grader with brilliant phrases such as “I have no idea”. It took awhile to get up the courage to put personal observations or thoughts here, of course. It’s always debatable whether or not I have something worthwhile to say, that anyone could relate to. Some readers just want a professional stream of straight news or information.

What Relationships Are We Developing Now With Blogs?

How blogs are used by journalists is a topic Tamar Weinberg wrote about in Does Social Media Have an Impact on Today’s Journalism? You Tell Me.

She feels that today’s journalism is directly effected by social media and blogs. It may be so, but if it is, I’m alarmed because facts don’t live in social media and blogs. Our opinions do. Our observations. Our reactions, biases and feelings live in the social Internet. How can you trust that a story originating from a Blog is written clearly, so that no misunderstandings can occur? How do you know what a Digg article claims is actual fact?

A Blog can post a breaking news story, with something more inside it that wouldn’t be permitted by traditional news media. Maybe we are making a mistake. Are we dumbing down the news by becoming sources for it?

We already know that articles aren’t always factual or correct. Bad information is spread by articles. It’s also found in forums, which is why expert moderators are needed to weed through the nonsense. Many articles are simply pointers lifted from something someone else wrote. Some of my best articles come from field work. The mistake is taking the information and calling it gospel, setting standards or guidelines by it and telling people to apply rules that for business requirements reasons should never be considered.

There’s something more going on and I’m not convinced we’re paying attention, so I pulled out a song.

There’s Something More Than This

I’m a huge fan of October Project. One song, Something More Than This , makes me cry every time I hear it because I relate to it on such an intense level. Here are some of the words and I’ll ruin the moment with some thoughts:

In the shadow cast as you were leaving
In the beauty of the ending day
There is always something to return to
Something you allow
To slip away

The “something you allow to slip away” punches me hard every time I hear it. It’s the emotional hook. That emotional hook separates some blogs or blog writers from others. There are readers who want to be moved or touched by us.

In the empty corners of the evening
In the vacant beauty of the wind
There is always something to remember
Something to remember
To begin

I tend to feel pain and usually start to grieve whenever this part is sung. It’s the recognition of something I can relate to, but I have no idea precisely what it is. Obviously not all blogs will give you a stomach ache or make you hyperventilate. However, a good one is one that you recognize yourself inside.

Whatever you fear
Whatever you hide
Whatever you carry deep inside
There’s something more than this

The first time I heard these words, I could no longer breathe. We do close ourselves off, don’t we? We’re not always open. Not free to be touched by someone or something new. We don’t believe in a “something more” because we refuse to give permission for that to happen. When a blogger connects with a reader, it can be an extraordinary experience. We don’t hear much about these moments, but I believe they exist because people are writing blogs.

Whatever you love
Whatever you give
Whatever you think you need to live
There’s something more than this

By this point, I’m in tears because I’m no longer here anymore. I’m at the experience it’s forcing me to remember or re-live. If you can do THAT with your Blog, you’ve taken this whole blogging thing to a new level.

In the shadow cast as you were leaving
In the beauty of the ending day
There is always something to believe in
Something…
As I watch you slip away

Maybe I’m more willing to go places with my heart. It’s pretty obvious I’ll take anyone with me who wants to come for the ride.

All I’m saying is there’s something more to blogging. Whatever it is, it won’t be accepted by the Blog Rules Police. It’s more than journalist breadcrumb trails, corporate showing off, an articles repository or a free instruction manual.

It’s how I’ll reach out for you.

There’s an unusually high number of extraordinary writing this week that deserve mention. Each piece has something in it that may hit home for you and all are educational.

First up is a debut article written for a print publication. The author, Sophie Wegat of Think Prospect, in Australia, is a Site Administrator for Cre8asiteforums and business owner. Her article is called Building a Website on a Budget (PDF link). She writes,

When it comes to setting your online budget I often find it’s better to look at your budget in terms of what you are prepared to spend in the first 12 months as opposed to just budgeting the initial development of your website. By having a budget for the first 12 months, you and your web designer can look at the best way to allocate your money. It may be that you spend 60 per cent building and hosting your website and the remaining 40 per cent to promote it.

Link Building

I like articles that are easy to understand, get to the point and can mix in a bit of attitude. John Scott came through with that on a subject that could be humdrum. He made it his, by writing John Scott on Link Building. I loved his introduction because I remember those days well.

Back in 2001 ~ 2002 and thereabouts link building was simple. If you wanted to rank for widgets, all you had to do was spam some guestbooks with links pointing to your web page with widgets as the anchor text.

Seriously, rankings were easier to pick than apples from a tree.

John goes on to talk about “intelligent” linking and offers a series of pointers on how to link without triggering spam traps.

He also produced another blog entry that I liked for its honesty and humor (making me laugh is always a good thing!) called On Selling SEO Consulting. Ignoring my favorite part below, it’s a real good (serious information) read.

A lot of SEO companies seem to have a very clearly defined, five step marketing strategy.

1. Sign the client, even if it means over-promising
2. Get the client to sign a non-disclosure agreement
3. Keep the client in the dark
4. Show the client all his #1 rankings for non-competitive search terms
5. Call it a day

Redesign

Joe Dolson blew everyone away with his incredible short, but nailed the dart in the center, blog piece called A Redesign Isn’t About Design. The point of redesigning, he says, is to “improve” the site. So, what happens when this doesn’t occur? The crux of his piece really zeroed in on the purpose of a redesign effort.

“…my central principal behind ANY redesign project is to improve the site. It should have higher quality code, better accessibility, better search engine optimization, better marketability and a better design.

And sometimes, these redesigned sites just don’t have ANY of these qualities. Why was the site redesigned? What drove this change?

Analyzing

Nobody is more approachable and willing to teach the joys of data than Matt Bailey. Lately I feel like a pathetic (okay, embarressed) groupie of Matt’s, but I hope it’s for a good cause. Some of him may rub off on me someday. His latest article is deep, packed with research and thought. It’s called Social Traffic: Useless Gossip or Powerful Word of Mouth. He leads off with,

From the earlier article that I wrote, Social Media Under the Microscope, a lot of conversation was spawned as a result of the data findings. Many questions seemed to have been answered, as many people responded by confirming the same data on their sites. However, there were some new questions created from the data.

The most fascinating questions revolved around defining the difference between different social media technologies, such as blogs, forums, online news sites, and social networking and bookmarking sites. Using the same data, but looking at it in different ways provided some very amazing trends. So, with new & improved charts (complete with fresh new colors) and additional tools to dig into the data, (thanks to ClickTracks) I began the process of analyzing different forms of engagement based on visitor referral sources.

From there you just sit back, read and enjoy the ride.

Discussions

Sometimes discussions online are inspiring. Once again, the chance to pick up new information is what sets these apart.

Cre8asiteforums: Is Web 2.0 All Hype?. Explored in this thread are Web 3.0, usability and more.

Cre8asiteforums: Google Bug, only it wasn’t a bug. This is a situation where a designer struggles with hard truths about his website.

SEOMoz: 17 New Rules for Successful E-Commerce Websites. Personal experience, screen shots and additional comments make this the perfect refresher piece and even better for those new to ecommerce design.

If you want to stand out in a crowd, be yourself. I have a passion for creative thinkers, funny writers, belly button ponderers and those who give more than they take. Here are some writers who impress me.

In no particular order:

Aaron Wall thinks a lot. His recent Inadequacy & the Chance to Change is sexy as hell. I could easily find myself wanting to sit for hours on end sucking in every word and getting high on all the ideas and possibilities he ceaselessly generates just by expressing whatever’s on his mind at the moment.

Inadequacy is just part of being human, but many companies create products or services which claim cure us of the flaws of being. When we buy into these systems, we are not just buying into the product / program / service, but we are buying into the pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow. The belief that things can be different and better, and the sense of relief that brings. Wherever there is a real or manufactured sense of inadequacy there is a large targeted market.

Sigh. Right on.

Lisa Barone. Where did she come from? Suddenly there’s the Bruce Clay blog and this clever writer who covers the industry, offers it to us in witty blog posts and makes me feel good every time I read her latest one. The point being, she makes me feel good. She’s also totally tuned into SEO-land.

Knowing how you play gives me a good idea of how you work. If I’m a client reading your blog or a competitor trying to learn how you run your company, that’s invaluable information. I want to know that you’re the kind of person to think outside the box, that you’re wacky with an abundance of energy. It’s also a great way to distinguish yourself from all the other SEO bloggers out there and to show what your company is really about.

(P.S. I hope we get to meet someday Lisa!)

Andy Beal is bold and a risk taker. We get to watch. He went from working for others, to diving into my world of consulting and being his own boss. He’s a better marketer than I am (everybody is, really.) With Andy’s Marketing Pilgrim blog, he goes from industry reporter to educator to humble guy asking for help with something. He drops cute hints, such as:

I’m spending a couple of days with Yahoo.

Take me with you. I can cook. I own Rachel Ray pots.

Andy Hagans has his hands into so many website ventures (adventures) that I decided to link to a page that takes you to some of them (though it didn’t hit them all.) More known for his and Patrick Gavin’s Linkbuildingblog and the popular Text Link Ads system, Andy is on my list because there’s just no stopping this guy. He has generously referred my usability consulting services to people, which I truly can’t thank him enough for.

Honorable mention are two other men whose writings are cutting edge, insightful, smart and useful. I find myself pointing people to them often because they share so much information. Kudos to Chris Garrett and Nick Wilson.

What stands out about Andy, Patrick, Nick and Chris, for me, is their energy. They’re young, some with new families. They’ve reached a whole new market of web developers and swung it around to do their bidding.

Chris McEvoy, of Confusability-fame, looks for the truth in much the same way that X-Files ‘ Muldor did. If it’s unsuable, he will force common sense or re-write the damned thing so it’s practical to use. Chris is unique. He speaks his mind, even if he’s poking fun at the usability industry, or causing it to think. I keep an eye on him, just to see what he dreams up next.

Rosie Sherry is a female software qa engineer who tests, measures, analyzes, and is one my few remaining ties to my old job title of QA Usability and User Interface Engineer for VerticalNet. I read everything she writes. I pretend she’s in a cubicle next to mine, and we’re the only women in the traditional sea of male software engineers. Just kidding. Maybe. I’m also glued to StickyMinds, but Rosie is my hero. She’s a mom. She’s a techie. The UK is lucky to have her.

Kathy Sierra writes for Creating Passionate Users. If you’ve never been to this site, you’re missing out on tremendously thoughtful, insighful writing. Kathy is my favorite writer there. Her bio mentions her love of Dance Dance Revolution, which my daughter is totally ga-ga over. Not that this means anything. It’s just fun to think Kathy could visit and feel right at home.

He who reduces fear better than the competition can, potentially, stop competing on price, convenience, or just about anything else. Reduce my fear, and I’ll be grateful forever.

She’s speaking to me. My friend, Ammon Johns, knows this better than anyone.

These are a few of the sexy, smart writers I admire. There are, as you know, a great many others out there. One or two read this blog and I expect to receive a “What about me?” note. I purposely singled out a few, but I could be here all day, sending compliments to industry standouts whom I admire and respect. The talent pool is growing and thanks to blogs, we get to know you all.

In case nobody has said this to you all lately, thank you.

Jim, Aaron, and Rand aren’t the only people pondering the question of blog subject limitations. I’ve been wrestling with it for a long time, not only in relation to my blog, but for the forums I’m an administrator for.

Did I dare, for example, write about September 11 to an International readership? Not all of them care. Truly, I debated with writing for a few hours, posted on my forums, and waited again, because I was worried about writing here. I ignored my doubts, posted here and still think it was a mush-brain move.

At Cre8asiteforums, we have an After Hours, members only forum. Several times a year a political discussion will erupt there. They can get heated, but rarely ugly. We debated, as moderators faced with managing it, forbidding politcal discussions altogether. However, we felt it wrong to remove this ability to share feelings and opinions. People NEED to talk to each other. We hoped to provide a way to do that, and do it with respect.

Why would politics be a topic in a forums where the usual subjects are usability, web site development and search engine marketing? Is there a risk?

The ability to open up and share more about one’s beliefs, online, helps paint a clearer picture of who a person really is. We don’t have physical meetings. We don’t have beer and pretzels. We don’t have a TV or radio nearby, in which to make off-hand comments on. We don’t have lunch breaks with the office gang or idle talk around a water cooler. Online, we make different choices about when and where we are able, and willing, to expose more of ourselves. A forums permits some freedom to do so, in a community you may choose to join.

The risk is that someone may express a view and learn they are in the minority. They may conclude the environment is not a good fit after all, and they may leave. I’ve witnessed this happen several times at our forums.

The question then becomes, not whether we CAN express our true political views, but whether or not readers can read them with grace, respect and acceptance despite disagreement.

Blog Ethics

Blog owners have more to consider. A corporate blog is likely not going to touch political topics, unless the blog itself is on politics. A character blog may get away with it, if the created character has a specific persona to uphold. In this case, readers know what to expect. Barry Schwartz (Rustybrick) wanted to create his own cartoon version of himself, for a new blog. I suspected it was so he could be true to his own personality - different than the reporter for SERoundtable.

I think Rand Fishkin, for his blog, has more than himself to be accountable to. He has a company. Several members of his family work in that company. He has his staff, some of whom write for his company blog. He drives potential business to his company with his blog. Sharing political views is traditionally not mixed with business. However, one can detect how a blogger thinks and feels anyway, based on what they do write and how they manage their business. I think politics is something demonstratable.

Aaron Wall is famous for speaking his mind. I’ve found that when he thinks, he lets his mind really explore an issue. He bends it around like a Gumby playtoy and when he presents it to you, he usually leaves room for you to make your own decisions. That’s good writing. If he speaks out against something you strongly believe in, as a reader, you have the right to choose how to respond. If you respond. It’s an opportunity to react with class and dignity, or not.

Jim Boykin is a social person. In public, he’s everywhere. He genuinely loves meeting people and wants to meet more. He may have established enough trust in his industry to start talking about his views. I think his fan-base will love hearing him share more of himself, but can he afford to miff someone who hasn’t met him? Written words can be misunderstood. His situation reminds me of mine. How much can we push the envelope?

I haven’t decided how far to go with this blog, but its not that I’m worried about expressing my political views and chasing away potential clients. My work relationships are with professionals. They know I can help them, and I believe this is what’s most important to them.

What scares me is Blogger Law and the Blog Police. These are the folks who decided what a blog is and what it is not. These are the folks who go off the deep end when someone goes off-topic. But, I have to tell you, going off topic is great search analytics fodder. My recent entires on Daryn Kagan and Blogs Being Like Sex sent traffic through the roof!

If you wish to bare your soul, here are some considerations. Write your political (or religious, or off-topic ramble) with:

respect for the topic, respect for readers

concern (compassion) for feelings

responsibility to the facts, resources, links, names, topic, other writers

competence; know your limits. If writing is not your best skill, your opinions may not be expressed as you might hope.

integrity

Will Kim Do It in Her Blog?

Not likely. Maybe. There are some topics I’d like to throw more support towards, like “green thinking” and peace education. When I decide to run for President, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Related discussion: Some Views on Blogs and Talking Politics

The white space I’m staring at here intimidates me everytime I show up to write on it. This is because I know I need an introductory statement that will catch someone’s interest and drag them deeper inside to see what’s next. It’s because I must come up with a post title that contains keywords (if I want it to come in topical searches), or raises your curiosity enough to see what I have to say.

Then, I have to write something in this middle section that’s interesting, intelligent, thoughtful, inspiring, credible, and doesn’t waste your time.

And after that whole ordeal, before I ‘m even done writing, I’m fiddling around with the ending. It has to let you go, but not forget me.

Kathy Sierra made my day today when I found her post called, Give users a Hollywood ending. She’s always an entertaining, thoughtful writer. This piece, though, is one of those “Thank goodness somebody is talking about this!” posts because it shows I’m not the only person on the planet sweating out my endings.

She leads off with,

The way we end a conversation, blog post, user experience, presentation, tech support session, chapter, church service, song, whatever… is what they’ll remember most. The end can matter more to users than everything we did before. And the feeling they leave with is the one they might have forever.

Then, she offers examples. But my favorite part is The List. I won’t give it away. Please go there and read it. I’ve printed it out. She presents a way in which you can interview your ending. One hint:

Do I want my users to feel like they kick ass?

This reminds me of how coaches blab on and on to their teams about what they need to do, how awful the other team is, and forget about the pain in that body. It’s how they end those speeches that counts the most. It sends the team out onto the field pumped up and screaming like idiots.

Now, for a moment, let me visualize the power I have here, and how I can make you all run around screaming like idiots.

…..

……

Had a little too much fun with that one.