An old friend once told me back in 1995, “Assume that every email you send will eventually land on the lunchroom bulletin board for everyone to see.” It was great advice for email. It’s even better advice for blogs.

Miffed at someone? Kill them with words. With the Web as ammo, it’s easy to wreck someone’s job, life and reputation. Google has a great memory. Glen Allsopp wrote about three women who went off to raise a little hell at their boyfriends in A New Wave of Reputation Management Issues. He wrote:

These three women found out their partners were looking for love elsewhere, they all found their relief online. Did they find support groups or forums that could help them deal with the emotional pain? Nope.

* One started a blog about the cheat
* One edited a dating profile for her partner, adding some embarassing extras
* One “hacked” into her partners emails and humiliated him

Oh, how I’ve wanted to vent, curse, whine, scream bloody hell and verbally beat the crap out of people or companies who’ve been total jerks. What stops me? It’s so uncool to do it. Why? Because nobody can hurt you unless you let them and revenge doesn’t heal the pain. It deepens the wound.

It’s frustrating me how the Web is used as a weapon. I refuse to use it that way. It’s always been my vehicle for peace, community, knowledge share and crossing bridges.

Competition on the Web can get ugly. Signals get crossed. I lost a friend because of a disagreement over links. To me, it looked as though I wasn’t good enough to be associated with his company and I took it hard.

In a different twist, I’ve been accused of being unfriendly to people who believe I’m ignoring them. Perhaps I am. Have you offered me a reason to trust you? Do you work hard or expect free hand outs? Do you want friendship or want to use me for something? I can usually tell.

With the Web, friendships seem to develop and erode very fast. The word “Friend” online is used to loosely describe anyone who walks up to you and requests to be called your friend. I know I have some “real” friends because they’ve put up with me for years, no matter what.

Not all of my friends like each other, which is tough to deal with. On the web, we’re judged by who we associate with, who we work with, our business partners, blogrolls, and now, who we yack with on Twitter. One of my SEO friends is working her butt off trying to get my 50th birthday party worked out. I met her online. She’s been one of the most incredibly loyal, devoted, supportive friends I’ve ever had. She believes in me and has faith in my work and career. Sadly, some of my other “friends” don’t like her, with one of them going public about it.

And this is what scares me about what people can do when the Web is treated like a weapon of mass reputation destruction. If someone Googles a name and finds something harsh written about the person they’re looking up, how true is it? Is it one person’s experience or 100 people?

There’s two sides to every story.

We can’t grow if we keep throwing rocks. Granted, I can see why those women went off on their boyfriends. But, would you date a woman who hacks into her boyfriend’s email or thinks public humiliation is justified? Glen’s blog post included their pictures.

Lunchroom bulletin board.

If you’re bored, here are some interesting topics generating discussion:

Phocus, Phocus, Phocus - Was the creation of Sphinn a good strategic decision?

Why Usability is the Path to Failure

If usability is such a base level thing that everyone knows, how come so any people get it wrong? How come so many people have trouble using a site?

The Best Websites Are Useful And Ugly

I actually have a client who swears by having an ugly site helps them sell more - as it gives the appearance the products they sell online are extremely cheap.

Book Recommendation:

Why We Buy: The Science Of Shopping

I can relate to two things this weekend. First, Jeffrey Zeldman celebrates 12 years on the web. Congratulations Zeldman. You’ve always been a constant inspiration and source for web development industry information delivered with great class and an amazing ability to say volumes with few words. He writes,

The web found me and claimed me. Everything else followed. Maybe you feel that way, too.

I do.

Secondly, I learned that a friend not only loves classic VW Beetles, but has one of his own and a hobby blog called The Classic Beetle. Funny thing is, I knew from talking to Matt Bailey a few months ago that he had a car hobby site. But I didn’t connect with the subject. Had I been paying attention, I would have wanted to know much more. I’ve driven and been raised with 60’s and 70’s Beetles and there’s never been a funner car to drive. Having been in many expensive sports cars and hot numbers including my Pontiac Trans Am phase in the 1980’s, nothing has ever stood out more than the Beetles.

Matt is at the Midwest Motorworks VW FunFest this weekend. He has no idea how envious I am.

Well, I guess he will now.

Soon after learning they were chosen by Cre8asiteforums to offer a scholarship fund for their college, The Search Engine College doubled our offer by creating a second scholarship for the same amount of money.

This allowed two members of Cre8asiteforum members (not a requirement for the scholarship. That’s up to the facility to choose), to be notified today that they were chosen to participate.

Kalena Jordan announces the first winner in Cre8asiteforums Educational Scholarship Fund Selects Search Engine College

The first recipient is Elizabeth Able, Blog Editor for Cre8asiteforums blog, and owner of Ablereach.com

The second recipient is Miram Ellis-Loraditch, of Solas Web Design and SEO Igloo Blog.

We’re thrilled to be able to add a little support by encouraging education. Not to mention the fun of surprising folks with good news!

I was getting near the age where I could legally vote in my country, when Gerald Ford became President of the United States. I didn’t understand much. I remember reading about Nixon and Watergate in Newsweek.

He was President for only 29 months, having taken over for Nixon in 1974. I had liked President Ford, mostly because he seemed so calm and I liked his smile. I was a teenager. Those things mattered.

At the age of 93, he has passed from this life. He’ll be honored for serving this country during a terrible time of upheavals, mistrust, and the ending of the Vietnam war.

CNN reports, as well as many others.