Everyone has their own personal code. Some have a really cool inner guidance system. We sometimes admire qualities that we may want for our own, or feel good to us when we connect with whatever it is. Sometimes even hate, anger, greed, vanity and lust are those qualities that make us feel good. They remind me of chocolate. Can’t get enough of that.

We all go off kilter. I’ve done some insane things I’m not proud of. I know “bad kimmy” lives in me and I like to tease her. She’s a wild one. She has a bad mouth on her. She’s fiesty. She thinks she’s right. She’s scared to death of many things. Many past hurts. Usually she’s quiet because I learned how to live with her and hold her in peace. She was wicked fun a long time ago, if you like living on the edge.

Today someone thought to create StopCyberBullying Day. Those people who are passionate about online hate are involved. They want to talk about what’s going on; actually, what has been going on ever since the days when many of us screeched out to AOL with our ancient phone modems and waited five minutes in between sentences. We must have been pretty desperate then. Or thrilled to be finally “meeting” other people around the world who shared our interests. Or looked good naked. That was fun too.

Thing is, typing on a keyboard is not the same thing as speaking face to face. You can be a coward in real life, but online, create a persona that fits your fantasy of what you want to be. Sometimes that means acting sick and wishing to cause someone harm, even from afar. Words have energy. So do thoughts. They travel great distances. The Internet helps them make their mark.

I have a guiding set of words that helps me in the roughest of times online, especially in forums. Even if “bad kimmy” is screaming her fool head off, she’ll usually listen to this set of words and will even put down the keyboard. Whenever I am weak, and don’t listen or make an error in thinking or reaction, I get into trouble. Someone feels hurt. I don’t like how that feels when it happens to me, so I try to avoid doing it to others.

I ask myself, for what I’m about to say:

“Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”

Yes, of course it sounds wimpy and clogs up the pours with pent up anger. If you use it, you also need to find your way of releasing the bad energy. I won’t suggest how to do that.

I’m always working on that part too.