For about 20 years or more I’ve detested this holiday. There’s several reasons why. Mostly it was because this holiday, and the Christmas one, are so filled with stress that I only wanted to avoid it all. Family gatherings can be strange things. I didn’t have the patience or tolerance for it all. I rarely hear women admit it, but the idea of making a gigantic meal just so that all the men can fall asleep in front of football games on TV seemed incredibly unfair!

Then, there was the issue of the Indians.

Whether it’s due to my ancient Cherokee, Shawnee and Blackfeet ancestors, or just my keen sense of the Native American spirit that’s always surrounded me somehow, when I found out the Pilgrims later killed the Indians they befriended, I stopped celebrating Thanksgiving. If I had to, I’d go through the motions, but my heart silently grieved.

With my new husband (we leave for Chicago Search Engine Strategies on our second wedding anniversary), I’m lightening up. I haven’t been feeling so much like a Scrooge since he and his family welcomed me to their huge brood. Eric puts up with me so well. It’s not an easy job. You have no idea how many times he is put on hold because I have to answer email, or be at Cre8asiteforums with members and moderators. My kids have grown used to my odd hours, and even odder working habits. My “office” is wherever I am in the house.

Last year, at Cre8asiteforums, some of the male members taught me how to “brine” a turkey. I’m doing that again this year because last year’s turkey was the best I’d ever made. It’s amazing how many web design folks are also kitchen gods and goddesses. When they get to talking about food in the forums…it’s always educational.

Tomorrow Eric and I host a Thanksgiving gathering. It’s the first one for us. We usually go somewhere and my kids have gone to be with their father and his family every year since forever. Tomorrow I have all of our kids, my parents, some in-laws, a daughter’s boyfriend, and some potential drop-ins, including my ex-husband and his fiance. I’m prepared to offer a feast.

It’s a good sign for me, that I can do this without feeling resentment towards the Pilgrims. I like football because my son plays and I “get it” now. Maybe this year I will fall asleep in front of the TV and the men will wash the dishes.

Okay. Maybe I’ll just get to watch football.

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends and global hug of gratitude to everyone else. I’m lucky for the chance to get to know you.

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