It Takes Courage To Walk a New Road

I had trouble focusing on work, the day I learned that Danny Sullivan announced he was leaving Incisive Media and Search Engine Watch. Though I managed to buckle down, my thoughts have continued to wander in his direction all week. I was never sad for him. Rather, all I can seem to do is envy his courage.

Several times, I had confided to my friends, Diane Vigil and Bill Slawski, after forming Cre8asiteforums, that I wanted to leave it.

Diane, who moderated there for years, had the most uncanny way of always knowing when I needed a pep talk. Bill, my Co-Administrator, has listened to me intently in person, probing him with thoughts of wanting to move on and do things like “sell the forums” or “give it to somebody else”. Sometimes I’d vent in an email, or over the phone.

Bill does the same my husband does, which is to just quietly listen to me ramble and talk to myself, nod as if I’m saying something important, but they don’t say anything.

They must’ve read the part about women being from Venus.

Why would I have thought of leaving something so big, that grew so quickly into something reputable and useful? What could make me do such a thing?

Family. Work. The desire to do something new and different.

Danny’s news is not a surprise to his inner circle. Some of them knew this day was coming. In Danny’s heart, he knew too. It was just a matter of when. It was also, I think, a matter of getting up the energy to handle the questions that would follow. He would need to defend, or at least discuss publically, his decisions. He’s likely long been thinking about what he wants to do. As someone who loves to write and get that outflow, he’s probably got a stockpile of ideas in his head and chapters written and tucked in his brain waiting to pounce into the physical world.

It’s a wierd feeling when you are saying goodbye to one thing, and all the while, enthusiastically planning, dreaming and laying the foundation for a whole new path.

I finally stopped wishing I could walk away from Cre8asite. I’m not sure when the frustration ended for me. It think it has to do with the team there, and how we eventually learned to accept our limitations. We learned how to live together and how to incorporate forum responsbilities into our personal lives. However, part of me thinks I just don’t have the courage to walk away from it.

Which is why I’ve been admiring Danny Sullivan. It’s not just about what he built and how he did it so exceedingly well. It’s how he has the conviction to know what he needs to do next.