I often hear questions like “Where are the women in search?” After an evening of listening to my husband and Ms. Dewey, (aka actress/singer, Janina Gavankar), flirting, I decided to have a little chat with the search engine broad, er, MsDewey.
Upon loading the search engine, rather than seeing her yelling a Ricardo, I found her sharpening a knife.
I asked her, “Do you hate me now?” (Because I reported in my comments yesterday that she was stripping and acting naughty.)
This is her reply:
“It’s not easy to find someone who will love you, for you. And, I do mean you, specifically.”
The first actual search result is a site called “I hate bulls–t”.
I guess she told me, didn’t she.
I asked if she liked the review I did yesterday. She said,
“I like to bring my laptop to meetings. That way, I can keep up with myself.”
To see what she does with the “sex” word, I typed in “Sexy”. She has this to say.
“I’m sorry, but did you think this is “Girl-who-does-whatever-you-want.com? Because that is simply not the case.”
Finally, I decided to give her something to search on. I typed in “Kim Krause Berg”. She replied with,
I’m writing a book you know. I kiss, therefore, I tell.
She’s got me figured out. (The “writer” part, that is.)
So. Why this woman in search?
There’s certainly some sort of evolving thought, through trial and error, when it comes to search engine mascots and software assistants. You remember the butler, Ask Jeeves, who retired not long ago. You may recall Microsoft Bob. “Bob failed to penetrate the market and is widely considered a major failure for Microsoft.”
Microsoft Bob failed, so they gave us Clippy. A non-human object.
Bendable like MsDewey but nowhere nearly as kinky.
If you think I’m pathetic about this search engine, it’s not really that serious. I LOVE programmers and the things they can do. It makes testing (ie playing) with their applications challenging and fun. Ms Dewey is already in Wikipedia. They list several of the search words that bring up specific comments.
They don’t tell you, however, about her little performance last night for my husband, where she appeared to start to remove her clothing. He typed in “strip” and she replied, “Well, maybe just this once”, and then proceeded to start unbuttoning her black dress. There’s a bit of buffering and interference when she does, but you get the idea of what she has in mind.
We tested this a few times, just to make sure.
Other fun test searches:
Microsoft: “Dewey says never to use pirated sofware unless it’s mapping software. I figure some pirates know something about that don’t they.”
Microsoft again: “188.8.131.52.1.0…underwear on your head…and you still couldn’t create the woman of your dreams. Poor you.”
Bill Gates: “Isn’t it funny how preoccupied we get with the lives of others, but you knew that. You’re talking to a chick in a computer.”
Google: “Have you ever met one of those poor souls who spends every day searching for the next big thing on the ‘Net? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
Political parties have canned answers. I think she’s an Independent.
On women she says, “They all look so fake to me.”
Men: “I’ve always found the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his rib cage.” (The first search result was for men’s swim suits.)
Usability: “Are you as confused as I am?”
Search Engine: (She laughs), and says, “I’ve got people to handle that.”
The number one ranked search result for that search is Google.
“for those who are interested — it’s sending a query to a URL like http://msdewey.com/Search/search.aspx?s=google&h= and getting back some IDs for the video snippets (which it looks like it downloads on the fly, which is why it takes a bit for it to reply to your queries). You could actually take the same information and wrap your own “Ms Dewey” around it.”
“Eric, really – turn off Kimâ€™s monitor before she sends it through the wall . . .”
“Try typing in “gun”
“I believe they’d like it to be an enigma, but it’s quite simply an Ã¼ber-fun project using the MSN search engine.”